While remote desktop and VNC is a solution, it is a techy solution at best. Here is an alternatives:
If you want to control this from another Mac downstairs, while VNC and desktop sharing will work, I think this is a much easier solution: Download the free program "iTunes Remote Control 1.4.1" onto the machine downstairs, which is an app that lets you control iTunes on another machine. You can download that program here:
http://www.macupdate.com/info.php/id/21518/itunes-remote-controlTo set it up, you will need the IP address of the machine that has iTunes. On that machine, open system preferences and click on the Network icon that has a green dot next to it, and to the right under the words CONNECTED, you should be able to see the IP address. It will be four numbers of the from 192.168.1.33 (your numbers will be different.)
For the iTunes Remote program to work, you will also have to turn on "Remote Apple Events" on the machine with iTunes. Again, System Preferences, Sharing. Inside, click ON the Remote Apple Events item.
That's it. Now, on the Mac downstairs, launch the program (called iTRC) and control your iTunes. You can select playlists, skip forward and back pause, and control the volume, EQ, and even mute the system.
I am running this and it works great. Instead of remotely controlling a desktop of a remote machine, this is a small simple app that gives you full control over the remote iTunes.
If you have an iPhone or iPod touch on the same network, there is also Apple's iTunes Remote program. a free application for the iPhone or iPod Touch (if on a network) that gives some control, but will not let you adjust volume.
More information about iTunes Remote can be found here:
http://www.apple.com/itunes/remote/For the iPhone or iPod touch, there is also "RemoteX - iTunes", and this app gives a lot more control over the computer than does Apple's solution.
Lastly, for most remote activities you will also need the Login Name and Password for the remote machine.