Okay, this MS article
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/110006 says this:
Note: The Update Remote References check box is not a universal setting. When two workbooks are open, one workbook might have its Update Remote References setting selected whereas the check box is cleared in the other workbook. However, when you open a workbook, its Update Remote References check box will be selected, no matter how it was saved, unless it contains links to an external data source.
There's a VB procedure on the page for turning the setting off:
Sub Example()
' The zero after updateLinks indicates that neither external nor
' remote references should be updated when the file is opened.
Workbooks.Open fileName:="C:\EXCEL\TEST.X
LS", updateLinks:=0
' Turn off the Update Remote References setting for the workbook.
ActiveWorkbook.UpdateRemot
eReference
s = False
End Sub