1 - Good sitemap generator: GSite Crawler
http://gsitecrawler.com/ is very good and complete, maybe some overkill and overcompication if you are a newbie.
Simpler to understand, and producing a high quality as well, is Xenu
http://home.snafu.de/tilman/xenulink.html2 - When you have uploaded a sitemap to your site, you just need to indicate its complete url in your robots.txt file: GYM (Google, Yahoo, MIcrosoft) indexers will take note and use. see
http://www.sitemaps.org/protocol.php#informingYou might additionally have some actions thru the webmasters tools of each of GYM... but again if you are a newbie this is probably not really necessary.
3 - Using sitemaps will NOT generally make more pages of your site referenced, but they will help robots to discover them fatser.
The page
http://www.sitemaps.org/protocol.php gives you the basic knowledge